


Left behind

by Writelikethat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry John, Angst, Bottom Dean, First Time, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Sam Winchester at Stanford, Smut, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 01:25:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4941331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writelikethat/pseuds/Writelikethat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hurt inside is just too much. Nothing helps. There's lots of booze, lots of chicks, and still, Dean can't move on. He is lost and hurt after his brother left and nothing seems to be right. Dean needs to get it out somehow, but doesn't know how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Left behind

Dean would go out to bars and according to Sam, pick up girls. Sure he did that a lot, and he had no intention of telling him otherwise. The first time it happened was just after Sam left for Stanford. He was angry and hurt with his brother and his father was absolutely horrible. If his father had been difficult before, it was nothing compared to now. Dean knew he missed his youngest son, and also felt like he had made a mistake yelling at him not to come back, but the man was just too damn stubborn. Anyway, that’s when Dean started to go out, just to sit there watching people and drink. Girls often came up to him, and in the beginning he was more than happy about the distraction. Eventually he started to turn them away. He couldn’t make himself engage when he had nothing to give. He was so damn tired, and he would not admit it but he wanted to cry, he wanted a _reason_ to cry; not because he missed his little brother. Dean knew that missing his brother was perfectly normal, they had always been close and now he was all alone.

Dean didn’t know what he was looking for so he just sat there, got drunk night after night and nothing happened. He knew the drinking wouldn’t make anything better, but he kept drinking. That’s what his father did as well. For a while they threw themselves into any hunt they could get. No one talked about it, even if they both struggled to settle with the new situation.

It wasn’t until one night in a small town with no name Dean got what he needed. He didn’t know how long he sat there, staring at his own reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He looked miserable and a part of him wanted to fix that, to pick himself up and get away from the heavy cloud. Another part convinced him that he was totally entitled to feel bad. A heavy hand had suddenly rested on his shoulder and Dean tensed every muscle ready to fight.

“Easy there, kid.” A voice told him close to his ear and a sudden shudder ran through his body. A million thoughts scrambled through his head and Dean was ready to run and he was ready to fight. His body didn’t relax even if the man told him to.

“You look miserable. Saw you sat down here and it looks like you are a bit lost.”

Dean just watched him. He didn’t say anything, why would he? He never told anything about himself, not even to Sam. He would be damned before he spilled his guts in some shady bar in the middle of nowhere.  
He realized the man was just a few years older than himself. Maybe somewhere close to thirty. When they walked out of the bar together Dean didn’t know what his plan was. The man had a soothing voice and a way of keeping his body that was making him feel safe instead of threatened.

Dean soon found himself in a small apartment and when the man started kissing him he let it happen. He wasn’t particularly eager or saying much, he stood there in front of that man glad to be experiencing something different. Silently he wished the man would continue even if Dean couldn’t manage to help him, and he did. The man whispered praises and soothing words into his ear and when the man was standing behind him and reached around to open the button of his jeans Dean let his head fall back against a steady shoulder.

He was happy to have someone take care of him, someone to take over for a moment. The man behind him lead him to a bed, pulled his clothes off and for a moment Dean was afraid he had made a mistake, it wasn’t like he usually did this. He hadn’t done this before and he hadn’t consciously been looking for this. It had just felt right.

It seemed the man understood his hesitating, and told him it would be okay. He was careful and even if Dean noticed he was hard as rock he still took the time to take care of Dean. Dean was surprised that he was hard himself; he had never looked at a man thinking about this stuff. Now that the man had two fingers inside of him he was hard and he was breathing faster, and not just from the pain. Because it did hurt, the stretch was so much more than he was prepared for and he was so sensitive.

Through it all the man was telling him he did good and that he should relax. In the background something was playing on the stereo and Dean tried to focus on that. It took a while for him to be ready and the man behind him obviously thought it was worth the wait. When he eventually pulled out three fingers he picked up a condom.

“Are you doing okay?”

“’m good.” Dean’s voice was raspy and he hadn’t let out much noise other than whimpers and heavy breaths now and again.

“You sure?”

“Just fucking do it!” Dean told him and heard a low chuckle behind him.

A big and comforting hand rubbed up and down his spine and Dean could feel the tip of the man’s dick press against his entrance. He tensed immediately and the man stopped.

“Need you to relax, buddy. Breathe slowly and it will soon be better.” He told him and Dean found himself listening to his voice. When he started to push in Dean bit his teeth together. The man huffed a breath and Dean begged him in a weak voice to keep talking.

“Doin’ so good there, kid. Deep breaths. Feel so tight around me, can’t wait to be all the way inside you.”

Somehow this was what Dean had desperately needed. The pain was overwhelming as a big cock pushed its way into him, stretching him beyond anything he had ever felt. Dean bit down on the pillow and felt tears sting in his eyes.

“Come on, we’re almost there. Feels so good.” The voice behind him praised and Dean were clinging to it. He needed to hear it, and he needed something to focus on. He could barely breathe at the moment from the feeling of being filled up and the pain of the stretch.

“Let me hear it.” The other man growled and suddenly Dean couldn’t hold it in. With a sob he screamed out his pain. He finally had something to cry about, sure, he was having sex and crying was kind of a no, no in that department, but it was all too much. Sam was gone, his father yelled and drank all the time, he himself also drank all the time, and all the woman in every town hadn’t been enough. But right now on all four with a dick up his ass he felt some kind of peace inside. He punched his fist hard against the mattress and swallowed a sob.

“Damn it! Fuck, fuck _fuck_!” Dean yelled and punched the mattress with each word. Tears were still streaming down his face and the man had stopped and wrapped his arms around him. He kissed his wet cheek and held him close, as to calm him down.

“It’s okay, kid. Knew you needed to get something off your chest. It’s okay.” He muttered against the back of his head.

For a while they had just been sitting there like that, the big man sat back and held Dean until he wasn’t shaking anymore.

“All better?”

“You wanna move?” Dean asked.

“You’ve got not fucking idea. You look so good and I wanted to be inside you from the moment I saw your miserable face.”

Dean huffed a little laugh and let the man put him back on the bed. He felt better, it still hurt a little when he started to move, but Dean knew how to deal with this kind of pain. Sure, he had lost it for a moment, but he had needed a pair of strong arms to hold him, and paired with the physical pain he had felt it was perfect. He moved carefully at first, making slow thrusts but soon Dean realized he liked it, and he started to push back against the man, making him go deeper, faster. He grunted and kept telling him how good it was and Dean gasped for air when he tried to wrap his mind around how different this was and how much he needed it. The man’s hands were firm around his hips and his rhythm got faster and erratic in a short time. When he wrapped a hand around Dean’s hard cock it didn’t take much before he tipped over the edge with a scream of pleasure. 

**

Dean ended up being there the entire night. The man’s name was Rob and he convinced him to stay with the promise of real breakfast. That was good enough for Dean and he slept better than in a long time.

The next morning he got breakfast in bed, they sat together almost naked eating eggs and bacon while watching the news. Rob asked him where he was from and if he wanted to talk about what was bothering him, but Dean still wasn’t the talking kind of guy.

“How ‘bout I make it up to you for being a crybaby last night?” He said and Rob smiled with pretty wrinkles at his eyes.

“What you got in mind.”

“I promise not to cry during round two?” He asked and earned a loud laugh.

Dean was sore from last night, but like before, he could handle that kind of pain. Rob was caring, and they ended up staying there the entire day. Dean ignored any messages from his father and instead he let himself be fucked by the guy in the bed, on the couch and in the shower. He was tired and happy by the end of the day and relaxed enough to eventually share a bit from his life.

“My brother moved away to Stanford, and left me with my drinking, aggressive father. I’m mad at him and I’m mad at my father, but most of all I want him to have this, a shot at life. I guess I just missed him.”

“Glad I could help.” Was Rob’s answer and Dean was happy he didn’t mention it further. Dean slept that night with a pair of arms wrapped around him tight. He was warm and content, ready to move on with his life.

***

After this Dean found that kind of company from time to time. Mostly he stuck to the girls, but after an extra stressful hunt or during another Christmas without Sammy he would go out and seek the company of a man. Someone with strong arms, someone that was able to hold him up when he didn’t have the strength anymore.

His father almost caught him one time, coming into the bar just as Dean was walking out of there with a guys hand on his back. John had given them a suspicious look, but it had seemed the guy picked up on it, faking a distance and telling Dean they had to take a rematch; implying he had been hustling. John had bought it, sort of. For a while he kept a close watch on Dean whenever he spoke to a guy, but eventually he let it go obviously thinking it must have been his own imagination.

When Sam came back, or rather, when Dean brought him back it was even harder. Dean found himself craving male company from time to time. He didn’t need it too often, but sometimes he did. Fortunately Sam wasn’t going out with him too much and that made it possible for him to leave a bar with a man. It wasn’t that he was so afraid of telling Sam or that he wanted to hide it, it was just that he didn’t know how to bring up such a thing without making it too awkward. He never talked about stuff close to himself no matter how much Sam tried.

All this time Dean never took the time to think about why he did want a man. He just knew he wanted to and so he did. It wasn’t until he started to get in trouble with the demons and only had a year left that he started to think. He only had a year and to begin with he found himself indulging in anything he could come by. He had girls up to his ears, and as Sam grew annoyed with his behavior he started to calm a little. Eventually Dean wasn’t so heavy on the girls. Whenever he went out he was looking for a man, the type that was strong and pleasant. Someone to hold him down and fuck him hard at the same time, or the ones that he could ride with so much wanton he almost passed out. He needed someone to be strong, and the only time he allowed himself to slow down just a little was when somebody else could take care of him.

He would be going to hell, but the closer he got the more he looked for that one thrill, a man that would take him apart and make him forget. In those moments when he was sweaty and spent, ready to come he felt alive.

Little did he know about the force of life he would meet after being raised from Hell.


End file.
